Ergo Baby Giveaway!

Amazing giveaway!!!

http://www.naturalbabygoods.com/ergobaby-baby-carrier-review-and-giveaway/

http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/

I'm not a perfect mom!

I'm not a perfect mom and here are the reasons why....

Sigh here goes...

I am not a perfect mom because I...

* give in to my child when she whines because I am too tired to fight with her
* feed her McDonald's... eek
* use disposable diapers, even though I swore I never would when I was preggo.
* give her medication if she seems like she is in pain at night.
* feed her whatever I know she will eat, instead of fighting with her to eat healthier choices
* yell at her :(
* get really annoyed when she won't sleep through the night (she's 16 mths old!)
* sometimes find myself praying for nap time or bedtime just so I can have a break
* buy her toys if she cries enough :(
* curse in front of her, but never at her. Even though I know its terrible.
* fight with her father in front of her, he fights with me
* pick her up every time she fusses.
* Never let her cry-it-out
* am so exhausted some days, that the house doesn't get cleaned.
* let her play with my car keys, know full well they are disgusting, but it keeps her happy
* totally forgot to buy her an Easter present :( Bad mommy!
* complain about how "saucy" "difficult" and "naughty" she is
* compare my child to all the other kids around her and can't understand why she is behind them all developmentally.
* put her to bed early because I just can't take any more temper tantrums
* spend money way too much and regret it later
* often find myself crying because I just feel like she is "behind" and I feel like I failed her
* ask my mom to take her some mornings, just so I can sleep in
* use the TV to entertain her, just so I can pee or make dinner
* don't blog every time she does something new or has a big event in her life

Even though I am a not a perfect mom, I am a pretty damn good mom because...

I love my child more then words can express. I would literally die for her. She may drive me nuts and I may lose my cool with her, but I try. I try every day to be "The Perfect Mom". The type of mom every one talks about and says "man, that child is so lucky. She has the best mom".

In reality, that "Perfect Mom" doesn't exist. No mother is perfect, no matter what they make you think. We all make mistakes. We are human. We lose our tempers. We feed our kids crappy food. There is no perfect mom and no perfect child.

So for now, I will except being a pretty good mom, not a perfect one ;)

Back to Work

*sigh*

My days of maternity leave are coming to an end. I head back to work on Thursday after a year off with my precious little girl. My heart aches at the thought of leaving her for 14 hrs. I know I am really extremely lucky. I only have to work once a week, but I can not get over this feeling of sadness. The Bean in my entire world. She is my life. She is the reason I get up in the morning. The reason I smile. She makes me happier than I have ever been in my life. And now I have to leave her at home while I go to work. I have a great job. I get to hold brand new babies all day. Help new mother's breastfeed their infants, which I love and do a lot of teaching. As much as I love my job, nothing compares to my job as a "mama". Every time I think about going back to work, I break down and cry. I know it is silly. I know that. I wish it was easier. I wish I could be strong, but that is not who I am. I am a sappy, emotional, crazy-in-love-with-my-daughter, kind of mama. This is honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I'm sure some people think I am being over dramatic, but it is true.

I hope The Bean will adjust well to the change. I really do. I want her to miss me but at the same time, I want her to enjoy her time with her daddy and grandma. It is crazy. I trust my husband and mother very much. I know both of them have a ton of love for The Bean. I know they will do a great job taking care of her during my absence, but nothing compares to a mama. Even though they love her, nothing can match my love for her. Nothing.

I keep having these dreams/night mares, (whatever you want to call 'em) about being at work and missing The Bean taking her first steps, or some other major milestone. I don't know if I can handle that happening. Again, I know it is only one day a week, but I don't care. My heart aches. It just trembles at the thought.

So, for now, I will just try not to think about it. I know there is nothing I can do. I can not change anything. I just have to accept it. I pray for strength. I pray for peace for both of us, but most importantly, I pray for my sweet, precious, gift... My Bean.

Bean, you have no idea how much I love you. You are my forever love. I am sorry that Mommy has to go back to work. I am sorry that I have to leave you all day. I hope you will forgive me. I hope you will have fun with Daddy and Grammie. Just know that while mommy is at work, I will be thinking about you every second and wishing that I was at home with you. Cuddling you. Changing you. Feeding you. Loving you. Please don't forget me. Please know that I am working so you can have a great life and go to a great Montessori school. I love you, Bean. I love you more than I can write in words. I will love you forever and ever. Love, Mommy.

Happy Birthday Bean!

A year ago, you blessed our lives at exactly 07:02AM. We are forever grateful. What an amazing year it has been.

Happy Birthday Sweet Bean!

Mother/Daughter Quotes

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. ~Author Unknown

A daughter is a gift of love. ~Author Unknown

A mother's treasure is her daughter. ~Catherine Pulsifer, Inspirational Words of Wisdom

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. ~Author Unknown

Mothers and daughters are closest, when daughters become mothers. ~Author Unknown

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. ~Author Unknown

A daughter is one of the most beautiful gifts this world has to give. ~Author Unknown

Daughters are angels sent from above to fill our heart with never ending love. ~Author Unknown

Precious Gift

When times seem too hard to bear & I l feel like giving up
I vision your beautiful face, the twinkle of your eyes and things of such
The bond we created from my womb to the day you were born
Is a mother and daughter bind that can never be torn
With the strength and guidance of God and the blessings he pours down from above
I want to be the best mom I can be to you and embrace you with all my love
You are as precious as a flower and as gorgeous as a rose
You have been specially made to the very tip of your nose
You are as sweet as honey; such an innocent young child
You are brighter than any star in the sky every time you smile
I want you to be proud of who you are and strive to be the best
Put forth your efforts to achieve your goals and let God do the rest
I will always be your mother first, but I'm also your friend
Your are the most precious gift, that I've ever been given

~Author Unknown

What a night!

Ahhh the feeling of a good night's sleep. I wonder if The Bean has been secretly reading mommy's blog and realized I was "tattling" on her night time habits... Last night she went to bed at 8:30pm and, get this, slept till 4:30am, without even waking up once!!! Then nursed for 10 minutes and went back to sleep till 9am!! Sure beats her old pattern of waking every 3 hours. Wow, I feel amazing today. Hopefully it keeps up, cause this mama could sure get use to this.